One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize