hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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