How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
