how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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