If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
