He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize