Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize