It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
