And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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