Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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