she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
