yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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