So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
