why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
