You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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