Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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