i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize