You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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