ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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