She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
