Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
