Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
