Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize