A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
