If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
