he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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