so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
