Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
