Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
