i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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