Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
