they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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