there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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