Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
