Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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