i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
