I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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