Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
