I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
