I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
