I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
