She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize