But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
