Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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(914): View more from New York

For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.

(1-914): View more from New York

That's cute.

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(330): View more from Ohio

So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol

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(815): View more from Illinois

I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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(909): View more from California

What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot

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