super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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