White coat. Heels.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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