so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
