Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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