Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
