If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
