I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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