big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
