Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
