I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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