k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
