we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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