My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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