I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
