There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
