I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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