we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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