Soap is not a condiment
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
