you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
