kristin has been a bad kristin
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you made out with another girl for some wings
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
