I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
